June 23, 2008

Prayers about John and I

Ok, so this is a different post for me, and I hope that I don't get too much grief for it. What I am hoping for is some encouragement and ideas as to how to change things.

I am not sure exactly how to word this, so bear with me as I try to get it all out.

I am currently having a hard time dealing with a few/alot of things that John is doing. He is working full time and thinks that because I am currently a stay at home mom that means he doesn't have to do anything around here. Granted keeping the house clean is my job as a stay at home mom, but I think he needs to help a little bit. Even if it isn't much. He leaves his dishes all over the house (something that I am currently working on fixing myself{but when I leave something laying around not matter if I pick it up now or later I am still the one picking it up. I know that it is still not a very good example, but...}), he walks all over my house in his gross muddy work boots, he leaves his clothes laying all over the house, he sits in front of the tv for hours on end, he sends the kids to bed/or naps before they are ready just because he is tired and then yells at them and spanks them over and over because they aren't sleeping,

When John and I were working full time he still did nothing in the house, said he wasn't the one in a skirt. Even when he was laid off and I was working he did nothing around here... So I would get up, depending on the day, at 3 or 4 AM (being pregnant) and head to work, work a full 8, or more, hour day. Come home and have to do the dishes, do the laundry, cook, clean up the mess the kids made while John was engrossed in the TV, get the kids ready for bed... the whole thing. I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE.

This last week he didn't work Tuesday or Wednesday. Father's day being the Sunday before that, I told him he should see if his dad wanted to go fishing one of the mornings. His dad had golfing plans for Tuesday , so John went with. Find with me that was because we go to the park on Tuesday's for a while with my mom's group. Well golfing took most of the day, and then they went to eat, and then shopping for something for the boat, and then they had to put it on the boat and by the time he told me we could come get him it was supper time. Then he tells me that he is going fishing with his dad and nephew on Wednesday. They left about 5 AM and called to tell me they were on there way home about 5 PM. I thought that we could hang out as a family, or he could help me around the house since he wasn't working, but instead we saw him less than we do when he is at work. Then Saturday he gets up and takes a 1 hour bath/shower and then gets dressed and takes the kids to his dads again for like 3 hours. Then home to take a nap (like every day), and then when I start to get the kids ready to go to Kirk's soccer game wonders what is going on. Then Sunday we went to church, ate lunch, he took a nap (again) and then we ran down to his parents to drop something off for his dad (a golf tournament brochure) and then asked his dad if he wanted to go golfing. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

My husband is 30 years old and I do more picking up after him than I do the three kids. My dad and I don't get along the greatest, but I am working on it. One thing that I do remember about growing up that didn't suck was the fact that he was always doing something. Helping with supper, helping us kids with some project, doing some kind of work around the house... he hated the TV and I think now I know why. John can spend hours apon hours upon hours in front of the TV. I know that I have it on too much too, but to get anything done in the house with the kids home I need something to keep them busy and the TV is really handy. I am trying to shut it off more, or have it on music channels.

This is pretty personal, but it is the one thing that I have the most problems with right now, so I am going to share it with you. John sleeps on the couch. Has since before we got pregnant with Aubrie. At first he blamed it on his back hurting when he slept in the bed, so we both moved out to the pull out bed on the couch. Then we got rid of that couch and got a normal couch. He decided to still sleep on that couch. The only time he would come in the bedroom is to get dressed or when he wanted something.... you get my drift. He would then "spend the night" with me and we would go on about our normal lives. This was bad enough. Well now the only time he is in the bed room is to get clothes and when he wants something... only now he is only in the room long enough to get what he wants and then he leaves. Makes me feel like a call girl.

Ok, in tears now... this is enough for now and while it might or might not seem like much to you reading this.Think about the fact that I have a 3 1/2 year old, a 2 year old and a 3 month old to take care of too. That is enough work in and of itself.

So keep us in your prayers. Thanks